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Everyone knows that Dirty Harry said “Do You Feel Lucky, Punk”, you have quoted Darth Vader saying “Luke, I Am Your Father” and who can forget the immortal line “Greed Is Good”. All classic dialogue from cinematic lore, that never happened. Below is a collection of twenty of the most famous and greatest misquotes from the movies. Several quotes are from older movies that you may have not seen, but you have heard the (mis)quote. Interestingly the remembered misquote seems to be more succinct and clever. Maybe that is why the misquotes permeate the communal conscientiousness.
Misquote: Various
Correct Quote: You’re going out a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star!”
Julian Marsh (Warner Baxter ): Sawyer, you listen to me, and you listen hard. Two hundred people, two hundred jobs, two hundred thousand dollars, five weeks of grind and blood and sweat depend upon you. It’s the lives of all these people who’ve worked with you. You’ve got to go on, and you’ve got to give and give and give. They’ve got to like you. Got to. Do you understand? You can’t fall down. You can’t because your future’s in it, my future and everything all of us have is staked on you. All right, now I’m through, but you keep your feet on the ground and your head on those shoulders of yours and go out, and Sawyer, you’re going out a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star!“
Misquote: “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
Correct Quote: “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
Margo Channing (Bette Davis): Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!
Misquote: “I’m out of order? You’re out of order! This whole court is out of order!”
Correct Quote: “You’re out of order! You’re out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They’re out of order!”
Arthur Kirkland (Al Pacino): That man is guilty! That man, there, that man is a slime! he is a *slime*! If he’s allowed to go free, then something really wrong is goin’ on here!
Judge Rayford (Jack Warden): Mr. Kirkland you are out of order!
Arthur Kirkland: You’re out of order! You’re out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They’re out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he’d like to do it again! He *told* me so! It’s just a show! It’s a show! It’s “Let’s Make A Deal”! “Let’s Make A Deal”! Hey Frank, you wanna “Make A Deal”? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the shit out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks probation?
Frank Bowers: *Dammit!*
Arthur Kirkland: [to Judge Fleming] You, you sonofabitch, you! You’re supposed to *stand* for somethin’! You’re supposed to protect people! But instead you rape and [expletive] murder them!
[dragged out of court by bailiffs]
Arthur Kirkland: You killed McCullough! You killed him! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement!
Misquote: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning it smells like victory!”
Correct Quote: “The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like … victory. ”
Kilgore ( Robert Duvall): Smell that? You smell that?
Lance (Sam Bottoms): What?
Kilgore: Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.
[kneels]
Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like
[sniffing, pondering]
Kilgore: victory. Someday this war’s gonna end…
[suddenly walks off]
Misquote: “Play It Again Sam”
Correct Quote: “You played it for her, you can play it for me!”
Rick: You know what I want to hear.
Sam: [lying] No, I don’t.
Rick: You played it for her, you can play it for me!
Sam: [lying] Well, I don’t think I can remember…
Rick: If she can stand it, I can! Play it!
Misquote:
Correct quote: “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Renault (Claude Rains): It might be a good idea for you to disappear from Casablanca for a while. There’s a Free French garrison over at Brazzaville. I could be induced to arrange a passage.
Rick (Humphrey Bogart): My letter of transit? I could use a trip. But it doesn’t make any difference about our bet. You still owe me ten thousand francs.
Renault: And that ten thousand francs should pay our expenses.
Rick: Our expenses?
Renault: Uh huh.
Rick: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
[The two walk off together into the night.]
[Fade Out]
THE END
Misquote: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
Correct Quote: “What we’ve got here is (pause) failure to communicate.”
Captain, Road Prison 36 (Strother Martin): You gonna get used to wearing them chains aftera while, Luke. But don’t you never stop listenin’ to them clinkin’. That’s gonna remind you of what I been sayin’.
Luke (Paul Newman): Yeah, they sure do make a lot of cold, hard, noise, Captain.
[The Captain feeds his fury staring, then reaches out his hand and Boss Paul lays the blackjack in it. As the chain guards finish and stand up, trembling with rage, the Captain takes a convulsive step forward and brings the sap down behind Luke's ear. As Luke tumbles down the littered embankment toward the men]
Captain, Road Prison 36: Don’t you never talk that way to me! You hear? You hear? Never!
[His rage subsides and his voice becomes calm, reasonable.]
Captain, Road Prison 36: What we’ve got here is… failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it… well, he gets it. I don’t like it any more than you men.
This may not be a misquote, the last line in the movie finds Paul Newman’s character delivering the misquote. The quote is usually delivered in the pointed southern drawl of the Captain. I will leave it up to you to decide if it is a misquote or not.
Misquote: “Do you feel lucky, punk?”
Correct Quote: “Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? ”
Inspector Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood): “I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Now, to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement.. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?“
Misquote: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
Correct Quote: Various
Forrest (Tom Hanks): “My Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates…. you never know what you’re gonna get.“
Forrest (Tom Hanks): “Why are you dying, Mama?”
Mrs. Gump (Sally Field): “It’s my time. It’s just my time. Oh, now, don’t you be afraid, sweetheart. Death is just a part of life. Something we’re all destined to do. I didn’t know it, but I was destined to be your mama. I did the best I could.”
Forrest: “You did good, Mama.”
Mrs. Gump: “Well, I happen to believe you make your own destiny. You have to do the best with what God gave you.”
Forrest: “What’s my destiny, Mama?”
Mrs. Gump: “You’re going to have to figure that out for yourself. Life is a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you’re going to get.”
Forrest: “Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.”
Mrs. Gump: “I will miss you, Forrest.”
Forrest: “She had got the cancer and died on a Tuesday. I bought her a new hat with little flowers on it. And that’s all I have to say about that.”
Misquote: “He’s alive!”
Correct Quote: “It’s alive”
Frankenstein is the name of the scientist not the monster who is nameless
Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive): Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!
Victor Moritz (John Boles): Henry – In the name of God!
Henry Frankenstein: Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!
The parody Young Frankenstein, does not include the misquote either
[after he brings the creature to life]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (Gene Wilder): Alive! It’s alive! It’s alive!
Misquote: “Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?”
Correct Quote: “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”
Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman): Oh my god.
Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft): Pardon?
Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. Oh no.
Mrs. Robinson: What’s wrong?
Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you didn’t… I mean, you didn’t expect…
Mrs. Robinson: What?
Benjamin: I mean, you didn’t really think I’d do something like *that*.
Mrs. Robinson: Like what?
Benjamin: What do you think?
Mrs. Robinson: Well, I don’t know.
Benjamin: For god’s sake, Mrs. Robinson. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You… put on music. Now you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won’t be home for hours.
Mrs. Robinson: So?
Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.
Mrs. Robinson: [laughs]
Benjamin: Aren’t you?
Misquote: “Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?”
Correct Quote: “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me”
Lady Lou (Mae West): Why don’t you come up some time, see me? I’m home every evenin’.
Capt. Cummings (Cary Grant): Yeah, but, I’m busy every evening. Busy!
Lady Lou: Say, what you trying to do, insult me?
Capt. Cummings: Why, No! No, not at all. I’m just busy, that’s all
Misquote: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”
Correct Quote: “Magic Mirror on the Wall, who is the Fairest one of all?”
Queen: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face.
Magic Mirror: What wouldst thou know, my Queen?
Queen: Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?
Magic Mirror: Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a lovely maid I see. Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Alas, she is more fair than thee.
Queen: Alas for her! Reveal her name.
Magic Mirror: Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow.
Queen: Snow White!
Misquote: “Luke, I am your father”
Correct Quote: “No. I am your father.”
Darth Vader (David Prowse, James Earl Jones): There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you.
[pauses]
Darth Vader: Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.
Luke (Mark Hamill): I’ll never join you!
Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!
Darth Vader: No. *I* am your father.
Luke: No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!
Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!
Luke: [anguished] No! No!
Misquote: “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.”
Correct Quote: “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson): [to newsreel camera] I can’t go on with the scene. I’m too happy. Do you mind, Mr. DeMille, if I say a few words? Thank you. I just want to tell you how happy I am to be back in the studio making a picture again. You don’t know how much I’ve missed all of you. And I promise you I’ll never desert you again because after ‘Salome’ we’ll make another picture and another picture. You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!… All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.
Misquote: “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!”
Correct Quote: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!”
Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart): If you’re the police where are your badges?
Gold Hat (Alfonso Bedoya): Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!
Based on the novel of the same name by B. Traven written in 1927 containing a similar dialogue
“All right,” Curtain shouted back. “If you are the police, where are your badges? Let’s see them.”
“Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don’t need badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabrón and ching’ tu madre! Come out from that shit-hole of yours. I have to speak to you.”
Interestingly Blazing Saddles parodies the original line with the misquoted line, thus making the misquote a quote.
UHF starring Weird Al Yankovich parodies the line even further
Misquote: “Greed Is Good”
Correct Quote: “The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good.”
Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas): [at the Teldar Paper stockholder's meeting] Well, I appreciate the opportunity you’re giving me Mr. Cromwell as the single largest shareholder in Teldar Paper, to speak. Well, ladies and gentlemen we’re not here to indulge in fantasy but in political and economic reality. America, America has become a second-rate power. Its trade deficit and its fiscal deficit are at nightmare proportions. Now, in the days of the free market when our country was a top industrial power, there was accountability to the stockholder. The Carnegies, the Mellons, the men that built this great industrial empire, made sure of it because it was their money at stake. Today, management has no stake in the company! All together, these men sitting up here own less than three percent of the company. And where does Mr. Cromwell put his million-dollar salary? Not in Teldar stock; he owns less than one percent. You own the company. That’s right, you, the stockholder. And you are all being royally screwed over by these, these bureaucrats, with their steak luncheons, their hunting and fishing trips, their corporate jets and golden parachutes.
Cromwell (Richard Dysart): This is an outrage! You’re out of line Gekko!
Gordon Gekko: Teldar Paper, Mr. Cromwell, Teldar Paper has 33 different vice presidents each earning over 200 thousand dollars a year. Now, I have spent the last two months analyzing what all these guys do, and I still can’t figure it out. One thing I do know is that our paper company lost 110 million dollars last year, and I’ll bet that half of that was spent in all the paperwork going back and forth between all these vice presidents. The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated. In the last seven deals that I’ve been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who had made a pretax profit of 12 billion dollars. Thank you. I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them! The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much.
Misquote: “Top of the world, Ma!”
Correct Quote: “Made it, Ma. Top of the world!”
You will never be as cool or crazy as Cagney, don’t even try.
Misquote: Various
Correct Quote: “If you wanna call me that, smile.”
Trampas (Walter Huston): Well, who’s talkin’ to you?
The Virginian (Gary Cooper): I’m talkin’ to you, Trampas!
Trampas: When I want to know anything from you, I’ll tell ya, you long-legged son-of-a -…
The Virginian: [Trampas stops talking abruptly as the Virginian's pistol is pressed against his abdomen] If you want to call me that, smile!
Trampas: With a gun against my belly, I – I always smile!
[He grins broadly]
Not sure if this can be considered a misquote, the book uses “When ya call me that, smile!”
It was now the Virginian’s turn to bet, or leave the game, and he did not speak at once.
Therefore Trampas spoke. “Your bet, you son-of-a–.”
The Virginian’s pistol came out, and his hand lay on the table, holding it unaimed. And with a voice as gentle as ever, the voice that sounded almost like a caress, but drawling a very little more than usual, so that there was almost a space between each word, he issued his orders to the man Trampas: “When you call me that, SMILE.” And he looked at Trampas across the table.
This is a common quote, used by countless comedians and impersonators. It was never is any Cagney film, the closest he ever came was “MMM, that dirty, double-crossing rat” in Blonde Crazy. According to Wikipedia the misquote comes from the movie Taxi! in the form of “Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I’ll give it to you through the door!” The misquote is an impression by Frank Gorshin, who played the Riddler in the 1960’s show Batman starring Adam West.
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